I hope this post finds you beyond the New Year’s Resolution High. I hope this post helps you ask yourself some questions about who you say you are versus who you really are.

Our culture is designed in such a way that it’s like we’re attending a masked ball. We have the tools that allow us to say who we are with one person and then go off and act completely differently with another person.

Facebook, as you know, is an idealized version of who you think you are. You can edit your history in order to hide certain choices you made in past. You can tell “About” yourself to whole world… your likes, dislikes, favourite books and favourite quotations. But only you know whether you’ve actually read the book you’re talking about. Only you know whether the person you are telling the world about is actually who you are.

There’s a large gap between what you say you value and your actions.

The Gap

The Gap

You tell your boss that you value hard work and honesty and so he hires you, but you show up late and charge things to the company credit card.

You tell your coach that you’ll give it all you have and that you won’t waste his time, but you don’t play with your whole heart and you miss workouts.

You tell your partner that you value sexual purity, but leave out some important events of your past and lie to the person you “love”.

There will always be a gap between what you say you Value and how you Act. After all, it’s in our DNA to strife for the Ideal. We all want the ideal job, the ideal mate and the ideal body. But you need to decide whether you want to strife for the ideal or not. It needs to be your choice and no one else.

You say that you desire the ideal, but your actions reflect the contrary.

If you really care about getting the ideal job, then you will work hard and do your best at the task in front of you.

If you really care about finding the ideal mate, then you will change the “unideal” parts about yourself and confront your darkest shadows.

If you really care about achieving the ideal body, then you will educate yourself and set a nutritional and exercise routine that will allow your body to transform.

And so the saddest part of this discussion is not that the gap between your values and your actions aren’t closer together, but rather that you insist on

  1. lying to yourself about what you value/what you want and
  2. lying to the one you’re actions will eventually effect.

As you begin to pen out your intentions for this New Year, be honest with yourself and ask…”What is it that iValue?”

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Categories: Values


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One Comment on “iValue”

  1. estolte
    January 3, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    Does “the gap” = hypocrisy?

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