#12 … help! I need somebody, not just anybody.

It has taken 3 days to write this.

Sometimes things happen in your life which prevent you from seeing and/or thinking clearly. That’s exactly what has happened to me. I would turn the screen on and try to write. I’d get a couple hundred words and realize that I wasn’t actually saying anything.

It’s 6:48 AM which means it’s about 30% through the day. The nights are cooler, I slept well and I think I finally have the strength to carry on. But since it’s my first one back I’m going to keep it short.

Sometimes bad things happen to you.

Occasionally those things are out of your control. When they’re out of your control you need to realize that you can’t act on them. You can’t act on what you can’t control. So if that is the situation you need to simply let it go and move on. You can’t control it so don’t let it control and consume you.

But then there are the majority of things. The things you bring on yourself. The thoughts people have of you are usually the result of who you are and what you do.

Most of the things that people do to you, say to you and think about you are because of who you are and how you carry yourself.

You’ve said something, done something or thought something and it’s rotten; really vile. It has caused people to stay away from you and wear nose plugs when they’re around you. They don’t want to breathe deeply when they’re with you because the smell is so bad.

But you can’t smell it. You can’t see how your actions are hurting other people.

How can you judge yourself?

We don’t ask alcoholics to work at sobriety checkpoints.

Are you in a position to judge yourself? Can you see yourself clearly?

Can a deaf woman tell the difference between two notes?

Do you have the ability to make judgments on your own life?

What is your external tool for judging your life? You need something external, someone external, something or someone that doesn’t change like you. Something or someone that is constant and a good navigator.

Our society is so naive that we actually think we can change ourselves from the inside. Without the use of an external party we will be like the alcoholic who professes his desire to be sober but refuses to get help from someone who is sober.

Good luck to you.

I’ll be back this afternoon.

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Categories: 25 cents, certainty

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2 Comments on “#12 … help! I need somebody, not just anybody.”

  1. estolte
    August 31, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    I really resonate with this post, Michael. We certainly need the help of others to achieve transformative internal change. But there is still a bit of filtering that needs to be done. You wrote: “The thoughts people have of you are usually the result of who you are and what you do.” Key: usually. Sometimes, the thoughts people have about me are because of who they are in their experience of me, not just because of who I am or what I do. Example (maybe a bit shallow) – A husband love the steak his wife has prepared and so asks, “Where did you get the steak?” She thinks he’s being critical and so asks, “Why, don’t you like it?” Her insecurity projects on to her husband’s action a negative assumption. Whereas, take the same scenario where the person is at his neighbour’s BBQ. When the person BBQing is asked, “Where did you get the steak?” the answer is “Loblaws.” No critical assumption. But, I’m probably looking at more the exception than the rule. What you’ve said above is spot on. Thanks!

  2. August 31, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    Eric – you never disappoint! I really like your example and I don’t think it’s as shallow as you think. Hmmm… I keep writing and then deleting what I start to type. I think you’ve pointed to something worth talking about; something I wasn’t planning on talking about in these 25 cents.

    Why do critical assumptions seem to arise more often between people who know one another more intimately? I think you’re spot on and I’d like to think about this more.

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