this one’s for me

For the five months prior to the last two days I could have cared less about blogging. Occasionally I would have a mental relapse. Pouring an espresso from my percolator, admiring the scent and smell of the black fuel, I would think to myself

Maybe I should start writing online again…
Absolutely not.
How come?
You vowed not to come back here.
People make vows and break them. Most people make vows and break them.
You want to be like most people? Do you think what you have to say is worth putting online?
Good point.


The last two weeks I’ve felt slightly uneasy. Part of me wants to start teaching, part of me wants to finish this second Master’s degree, part of me wants to run full-time, part of me wants to start working online.

Gifts are curses.

I think I’ve decided what to do. I want to finish this degree. I don’t like to quit things and I don’t want to quit this. It’s a valuable degree and it will open new doors for me.  I’m going to finish my course work this fall and then move to Florida all winter to train and write my (new) thesis.

There’s only one problem: my mind is fat and out of shape.

I’ve been busy reading terrible best-sellers, writing random thoughts and thinking far too much. All of this has put me in a rut.

I’m like the equivalent of all those skinny-fat people. They may look skinny but when you touch them it’s just fat; no muscle; no substance. I may sound smart but trust me, it’s just small amounts of borrowed information; no substance.

If I want to do well this fall I need to get out of this rut. I need to get focused. I’ve decided I’m going to use this blog as a way to motivate myself. It’ll be my mental bowflex.  I’m going to write a lot over the next 20 days; the goal is 25 posts.

It’ll probably be more than you’ll care to read. But this one isn’t for you, this one’s for me.

It starts tomorrow.

Categories: 25 cents


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2 Comments on “this one’s for me”

  1. August 16, 2011 at 6:11 am #

    If you give me a cent each, I’ll read them all 😉

  2. estolte
    August 16, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    Bring it on, Michael! Looking forward to it.

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